Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
