I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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