i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
