From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
