I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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