so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
