Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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