I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
