apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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