Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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