You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
