i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
