dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
