New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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