one two three fourrrrnication!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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