What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
