yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
