I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
