Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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