Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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