The brown eye won't let me do that either.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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