Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize