I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
