A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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