i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
