I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
