you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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