Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Vodka?
Forever.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
