You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
They took my balls.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
