I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
