im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Randomize
