god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
