I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
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drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
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I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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