When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
