I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
