Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
