you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
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I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
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you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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