Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I didn't notice because vodka
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
