The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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