I have demons in me.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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