I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
