so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
