i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
