your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
