What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
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