is your mom at the bar?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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