would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
