my mouth tastes like poor choices
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Drake has all the answers
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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