This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
