idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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