There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
