y did u give ur computer a hand job?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
