absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
