Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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