That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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