I'm sorry my penis didn't work
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
