Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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