I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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