final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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