Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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