Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
