ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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