when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
